Does it hurt?

"Dying? Quicker and easier than falling asleep."
~Sirius Black

Quotes

"And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again."

~ The Cave, Mumford and Sons

Fragile

It was too late when Elise turned and saw the piece of rock slam into Warren's chest.  She screamed and dove under the water, her emerald tail flashing in the dying sunlight and twisting her way to him.  How could Dad do something like this? she thought.  Her father had never approved of her falling in love with this human, but how could he possibly have taken his hatred this far?  To him, humans were nothing but a horrible fantasy in his daughter's head that needed to become extinct.

Elise finally reached Warren and swam his weak body onto the shore, water still lapping at his sides.  Blood was pooling down his shirt, each drop slowly taking his life away.  Elise tried to stay composed, giving him comforting words that held empty promises.

"Look at me, it's ok, we can fix this...." Her words were ebbed away by the sobs that escaped from somewhere deep inside her.

Warren lifted his shaking hand to her face, the pain in his eyes somehow being overcome by the sweet, tender expression he wore whenever he saw her.

"Hey," he whispered, his voice quiet and strained. "Don't worry, sweetheart.  I love you, more than anything.  It will be ok." Elise was amazed that he was comforting her, though she could see the pain starting to overtake him. 

She lowered her head, her lips finding his, but realized it was too late.  His head lolled to one side, and the rest of him became still. 

Elise let herself fall into his chest, the usual comfort of his heartbeat missing.  Her most delicate hopes, her wildest dreams...all had died with that heartbeat.  She hadn't realized before just how fragile it all was.  Oh so fragile.

Random Scenes from Random Books in my Head...

David turned and ran as fast as his weak legs would carry him.  He sprinted through tall trees, their branches looming over and hiding him from the prowling beast above.  Still he ran, because the steady gusts of wind above told him the creature was still searching.
His mind distracted, David stumbled and found himself in an open meadow, with bright healthy grass, blooming flowers and-Oh no, he thought.  Open.
Before he could get on his feet, the creature spotted him and landed, its huge form blocking the sun.  David looked up. 
The enormous beast was a strange shade of grey.  At first glance this was all David could make out.  But when he was able to focus more on the dragon, he saw that it didn't appear completely solid.  Where scales should have been was a wispy covering, giving it the appearance of a stormcloud.
David silently wished he hadn't been separated from the group.  The others had more experience; they would have known what to do.
The dragon lowered its head and examined David with one crystal grey eye.  David decided it would be best to stand his ground and stared back.  As he stared into the impossibly clear eye, he noticed that the iris seemed like liquid, like it was moving.  It looked like rolling, dark waters caught in a globe.
Suddenly the dragon unfolded its wings and lifted its head, still staring down at David.  Opening its mouth, it revealed impossibly long, razor teeth, and began to speak.

Afraid of Fear

Fear. The truth is...I'm afraid of being afraid.  I'm afraid of deep, inky waters carrying unknown swimmers.  I'm afraid of air being blocked and water forcing its way into my lungs. 

Or maybe in reality I'm afraid of drowning in fear.

I'm afraid of suddenly losing loved ones, their presence being ripped from my life. 

Or maybe I'm afraid of the fear that will fill their empty space.

I'm afraid that I won't find that person who will love me for every part of me.  The one who will accept my love of words, books, pens, of pencil creating impossible pictures on paper.  The one who will love my quiet yet passionate self.

Or maybe I'm allowing fear to block that person from my sight.

Fear.  The truth is, fear is just as afraid of you as you are of it.  It wants to keep you from progressing, from finding what you love, who you love, what you live for.  It will take any chance it can get to plant barriers in your path, because fear is afraid of not being feared. 

I won't let the fear of drowning keep me from feeling careless and free in flowing waters. 

I won't let the fear of loss keep me from enjoying time with loved ones. 

I won't let the fear of loneliness and rejection keep me from the person who will make me more happier than I could ever know. 

Fear, I won't let you take away the beauty of my life.  I won't let you keep me from discovering who I am and what I can become.  I will burst through your barriers, stronger and better than ever before. 

Fear, you have been conquered.

Books from a Die Hard Reader

This is a book about a girl of fourteen who lives under poor circumstances, and who basically has to take care of her family. One night she and her sister are attacked by a mermaid.  Afterwards, the mermaid continually calls to her and tells her to come to the sea.  She has to choose between her hard life with family and friends, or a new unknown life under the water.
This is one of the best books I've read in a long time!  It's refreshing to have a main character who has great qualities and who acts.  She takes charge. 

The writing paints a picture in your mind with every word.  It has a slightly new take on mermaids as well.  Overall, this book is inspirational, well written, and original.  I would definately recommend it. 

Thinking About You

 I'm thinking about you like pianos think about tunes.  Like art thinks about inspiration.    Like pens think about paper.  Like books think about stories, and stories think about words, and words think about becoming stories.  I'm thinking about you like wolves think about the moon, like the moon thinks about the stars.  I'm thinking about you like fish think about water, like water thinks about wet.  I'm thinking about you like the ocean thinks about the shore. Like mermaids think about swimming.  Like scuttling crabs think about the tide.  I'm thinking about you like tall grass thinks about wind.  Like trees think about their leaves, and new leaves think about spring.  Like meadows think about flowing and frolic and play, and frolicking thinks about carefree fun.  Like birds think about flight, and flight carries the birds.  I'm thinking about you like lungs think about air, and air thinks about life.  Like love thinks about forever.  Like lovers think about each other.  Oh yes, I am thinking of you. 

The Piano

I saw the piano sitting quietly in the corner and passed it by.  As I tiredly walked away, I could have sworn I heard a small sigh coming from its room.  So I walked back over to greet it, and sat down on its welcoming bench.  I uncovered its keys and heard them take in a thankful breath, feel them tingling with excitement.  Picking up my books, I picked out a single song among all the flowing black marks.  It was then placed into the pianos eager hands.  I positioned my fingers on the beckoning black and white keys, and began to play.

Silence was instantly filled with sweet, timid music, growing more and more confident with every touch.  Each note turned into a different voice, all working together to form a magnificent tune.  I was taken to a new place.  A daring adventure, a towering emerald forest, and then toes in warm sand.   It was whatever I wanted it to be, the piano encouraging it all.  It had put its mysterious keys into my once frightened hands. 

I learned that day that a piano is so much more than a black and white space.  It's like a firework, waiting for someone to allow its colors to show, and music is more than confused lines on a page.  A song had feelings, emotions.  A song is a story, and a piano its author.   

Love is...

Love is like diving into deep, unknown waters.  Love is being able to soar higher than you ever thought possible.  Love is the sound of waves crashing on salty rocks, the water creeping up on your legs, refreshing and shocking all at once.  Love is the smell of a good book that beckons you to its pages.  Love is frolicking through the woods barefoot, without a care in the world.  Love is the smile that brightens your day, no matter how horrible its been.  Love is a warm summer rain washing away the dirt and cold that winter left behind.  Love is giving up anything and everythings for something else.  Love is a simple walk through a park.  Love is not expensive.  Love is the way your favorite song makes your body come to life and sway.  Love is the feeling of butterflies making a mess of your stomach.  Love is the sun climbing over dark mountain tops, bringing light to all it touches.  Love is the confused, jumbled words that escape your unaware mouth without permission.  Love is an inside joke.  Love is the tender way a man looks at his other half, the way she looks back, and the way they look forward together.  Love is the way parents look at their children.   Love is a sacrifice.  Love is keeping warm together.  Love is a comfy sweater on a bitterly cold day.  Love is your own.  Love is always.